96 Days

Well, I'm down to 96 days.  In 96 days I will either still be working or not.  While still a little nervous, and uncertain if I'm making the right decision, I think I have decided this is the route to take.   I have mentioned this to colleagues, in preparation of the inevitable, but they don't believe me.  I have not make any official statement of intent to HR or my immediate supervisor (of the month).

So, here is why I think I'm there.  We had another meeting with the financial people to discuss where we will put our money.  Knowing nothing about this, I really have to depend on their expertise, and the recommendations of people who have invested with them.  The portfolios and types of investments they have shown us make good solid sense, as solid as investing can be, anyway.  And the overall performances of these products over the last 5-10 years is impressive.

Am I still a little concerned?  Yes.  But Rich isn't working, no overtime... which is what I depended on to cover those extra expenses we incur.  If we are not working, the gasoline costs will definitely go way, way down.  Of course, Rich will want to do more things around the house, so those costs might go up.  He's already considering a part-time job, so that will keep him occupied elsewhere! 

But what about me?  Work?  Not work?   Book more weddings?  Sell more handcraft items?  These are the next round of decisions. 

One final big decision, however, is when to actually 'put in my notice.'   Things here are in such upheaval that my heart hates to walk away, while my mind is saying "RUN....  RUN, RUN, RUN!"   The one thing I really want to do is make sure that MY things are done.  I don't doubt for a minute how I'll be bashed and bad-mouthed once I'm gone, but I want to make sure no one can say I left anything undone!

So that's where we are....  The discernment is way more troubling than the decision!

Until next time.

104 days

So it's down to 104 days...  I am so torn.   Things at work are in turmoil... because of the turmoil, I want more than ever to leave and not feel bad everyday.  On the other hand, the turmoil makes me feel guilty for leaving, wanting to leave.   Is it my responsibility though?  Am I responsible to hold up another department that isn't my department?

They are falling like dominoes since the 2nd 'interim' VP has been put in place.   I try to look at everything objectively, but we are losing good people and that makes me sad.  They left on their own, but left because they feel no other choice was left them.  I'm sad to lose them, but even more sad at what the results might be.  At this rate, I won't have to worry about retiring, because there will be no job to retire from :(

Rich is done.  His last day was Friday.  It's really too early to feel the results of it, because this would have been his 4 day weekend, and technically he's on vacation, but in 2 weeks we'll really be able to experience his retirement.   I'm a little jealous, but also a little wary.

I know they say we have the money to do it, but it's still a little scary to think about it.   So I need to decide and I need to decide when I'm going to let them know at work.   I was going to wait until December, but I might not have that luxury.   Decisions, decisions....

D

It's down to  113 days and I'm feeling closer and closer to a decision.  Friday I learned that our Interim VP has been replaced with yet another consulting firm and interim VP; this more to Sr. D's liking I'm guessing.  I'm tired of breaking in new bosses.  Explaining our procedures and history, revamping all the reporting because they have something they like better.   This one is suppose to be here until June when they will open the search again.

I am thinking more and more of making an offer to work part-time to complete surveys, but I'm not even sure that's the route I want to go.  After all, I'd still be under the same scrutiny and attacks that have led me to this point.

Friday, Rich and I had his exit interview with HR, some good, some bad.  One thing we hadn't counted on when we were told that his insurance would continue as a retiree was how much that was going to cost!  Finances are the scary thing about retiring.  While lots of people have told us they are better off since retirement, the pool of money we have will go a lot faster when we have to drop $600 a month or so on health care :(  He's retiring for sure, but it may mean back to the drawing board for me.   Time will tell.... 112 more days to be specific.

For now I plan to go to a conference in November and possible state my intentions at the beginning of December.   Of course, I don't know if they will let me work the entire month, once i give my notice, so that's something that remains to be seen.

All I know is when i leave that's one more down and Sr. D will only have 2 more to go until she can put in her 'dream team.'  Good luck with that!

That's it for now....   will write more tomorrow, maybe after I've met the new VP.

D

Labor Day 2012

I wasn't planning to write again so soon.  Like I said in my first post, I don't really know how this things works.  But, today is labor day...  one of those rare days in the work year when you don't have to get up early, don't have to be anywhere at a certain time, and don't really HAVE to do anything.   We cooked out today, with the progeny, but all in all it was a laid back day.

This morning, I sat in my swing chair and read a book.  I looked at a Facebook post a friend made about how she was spending her Labor Day watching a movie, and I shared what I was doing.   After that post it made me think.  I could spend every nice day of the year doing just this!  No alarm clock, no getting up by 7 unless I wanted to, no doing anything I didn't feel like doing.  That's retirement.

Like I said in my first post, 120 days was my soft goal...but getting firmer every day.

The downside to all this, of course, is boredom.  While it's really appealing to do this once or twice a year, or take a week's vacation and do nothing, but could I do it day after day, year after year from now on?  On the upside, I wouldn't have to drive in the winter.  I could get a part-time job; I could get a seasonal job... there are options. 

So who am I trying to convince here?  Do I really need convincing or is my mind made up?  Maybe my mind is made up, but I'm trying to convince myself it's the right decision because I have never really thought of myself as not working.

I can remember going on vacation, or being off during the winter holidays and thinking, "I can't wait to get back to work."  That doesn't happen anymore.  Is that the indication that I am done?  That I have overstayed my welcome?   I don't know.  That's what this blog is for.... to help me get to that point where there are no second thoughts.

Until next time...