"The time has come...

the Walrus said, to talk of other things; of ships and string and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings..."

So here we are.  I have 2 more days of work and then, after 20 years in this building, in this institution, I will be gone.  I began my career as a work-study student (not a typical 18 year old, more like a 43 year old), and the week I finished my course work I was hired as an employee.

I have held 4 different positions, I have learned and grown; worried and celebrated; been trained and trained.  I hope I have been supportive, compassionate and helpful.  I hope I am remembered fondly, but I think that is a pipe dream, if history here is any indication.

I have made many friends and had a few wonderful mentors.  I leave with a mixture of sadness and joy; a sense of worry and a sense of adventure.  But I have done all I can and I feel in my heart of hearts I am doing the right thing for the right reason.

And so Friday 12/21/12 is my last day of work... in a way, the Mayans were right... it will be the end of the world as I know it... but I will wake up to a new dawn and a new beginning.

Thank you all for taking this journey with me.

Down to the wire

I have 7 working days left!  SEVEN (not counting today, of course, since I'm here and the day's half over)!!!!   I am filled with a strange mixture of excitement and doubt.  Similar to buying a new house.  I can't wait to not work, but then I think how long will that last and am I doing the right thing?  I never thought I'd really be in this position.  I used to love coming here and working.  I still love my job, itself; and the people I work with... just not the environment.

I am doing the right thing... maybe not retiring, but leaving this place that has been my 'home' for 16 years.  Sixteen years as an employee, but when you think about it I've been here for almost 20 years.  During my 4 or so years as a student, I worked in the Financial Aid Office, upon graduation I worked in the Admission, then Registrar, and finally Institutional Research offices.  The final 12 being here in IR.  I've learned a lot, accomplished a lot and made many good friends here.  It will be sad, and different, not having that interaction anymore.  Weird...

But, from other friends who have retired, I understand I will love it.. I will be busy.. I'll wonder how I had time to work!  I certainly hope so!  Then, of course, there is the financial uncertainty.  I know, I know..our "Wealth Advisers" have it worked out, and they seem confident that we will be fine, but it's still a big adjustment.

So here I sit.. finishing up last minute things, worrying about who will be doing the things I do once I leave.  I guess that's not my worry.  No one was concerned enough to ask me to stay until they hired someone.  And, the ad they posted is for someone to do something that is very different from what I've done over the last 12 years, so I guess if they don't care, why should I?

So here it is... 7 more working days and then I have the rest of my life to figure out how I want to spend my time....   hard to believe!

15 Days

My last day of work is 15 days away.  Not my official retirement day, but my last day of work.  Actually only 11 working days (not counting today).   It's weird.  I'm trying my best to wrap things up so that no one can come back and say I didn't do...  I even did things that weren't due until February.

Yesterday HR gave me a long list of things I need signed off on before I can leave.  Various departments who need to verify that I have turned in everything I should, etc.

But the nicest thing so far are the well wishes from Faculty and Staff who have heard that I am leaving. They seem genuinely happy that I have the opportunity to retire and they have made me feel that I will be missed... at least by them.   Sometimes when you work at a place with a lot of people, you believe they know you by sight, but not really who you are.  This week is proving they do know who I am, as people who have never been to my office, in my 12 years in this office, have stopped by.

On of the things on my HR "to do" list is make an appointment with the President for her 'exit interview.'  THAT I am not looking forward to.  I want to tell her how sad I am at the state of things and how worried I am for the institution, but she is not the kind of person who wants to hear that....true or not.    If you try to share something you see as a problem, she accuses you of just being negative.  She can hear the same complaint over and over and it still doesn't sink in.  That's too bad, but another reason I don't want to meet and leave on a confrontational note.

So here we are... 15 days from the final good-bye.  *sighs deeply*  I know I'm doing the right thing for me!

'til next time.

The deed is done!

The deed is done!  Last Monday I told HR and my immediate supervisor of my decision to retire at the end of the year.   It was well received by them, but what could they say or do?  There are others here on campus who have told me how much I'll be missed and how much I've done for them over the years.  Those are the people who count... because Administration is Administration and they value no one!

The sad thing is the work I do here will go undone because I hear they want someone with a higher degree in statistics or analytics.  Good luck... that person, of course, will make a boatload more money than they pay me, and that person will have to do 1/2-1/3 the work I do. That person will not care about data integrity, the way I do.. making sure it's correct in the system.

There are many other things that I have done, can do and did do over my 16 years here that no one will pick up.  They'll remember how I used to do that for them, and I can only hope someone picks up the slack, but as I've been saying...."not my problem."

My official departure date is 12/31, but with the holidays, my last day of work is 12/21 (the end of the Mayan Calendar, and truly the end of the world as I know it!)!! YIKES...  15 working days left!

I'll probably write once or twice more to let you know how the end went,

'til next time...

Delayed

Today was to be the day.  The day I made it official that I plan to retire at the end of the calendar year.  But HR wasn't in today, so the plan has been stalled.  I really wanted to do it today, because tomorrow morning I meet with the yet-another new boss and I was hoping to have this done before I told her.   But maybe that's the procedure; tell your supervisor first, then HR.  Well I don't know, I just know I need to stop waffling and do this.

Still a little nervous and apprehensive, because not working is a big step!  A BIG STEP! I think I'm ready for this, but am I really?   I struggle with liking my job, the people I work with and the sense of value that I often experience here.  However, the administration has made it toxic and unbearable to continue to care.

So there you are.. no news :(   Maybe tomorrow.

'til next time.

Time to make the announcement

Depending on the reaction I get, I have 28 or 38 more days to go.  I had the week off and enjoyed it thoroughly.  Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, so needless to say this was a great week of lounging, waiting for Thanksgiving dinner, buying a new artificial Christmas tree as well as a live tree; helping mend the Christmas blow-ups and generally 'practicing' for retirement.

In the past, a week like this would have me itching to get back to work, but that's not the case.  So on Monday, I will go to HR and tell them of my decision to retire as of 1/1/13.   There are 3 things that will happen:

1 - They will accept my decision and my last day of work will be the end of the year.   I'm hoping it would be 12/21, with getting paid for my earned holidays and taking my last 2 personal days between the holidays.

2 - They will accept my decision and my last day of work with be 12/21 and I will not get paid for my holidays.

3 - They will say thanks, but no thanks and ask me to leave immediately.  That would be a really, really shitty thing to do, but I have no faith or trust in our management anymore, so this is the scenario I am preparing for.
I'm not OK with it, but I fully expect it.  so we'll see.

Well, back to enjoy the rest of my holiday weekend.... I will definitely write next week and let you know how they reacted.

'til next time,

I might have been wrong...

Not about retiring, that's a given.  More solidly than before!!!  But about the # of days.  I was counting on 12/31 as my last day, but looking at the calendar and holiday breaks I realize I maybe only working until 12/21 because there is no way in hell this place will pay me for holidays if I'm not returning.  So we'll see it's either 38 or 48 days, but I'm betting, 38... that's assuming they will let me stay that long.

I've been debating between submitting my intent today or waiting until after Thanksgiving.  I can use the long Thanksgiving weekend as the time when, after much discernment, I decided this is best for me.  Who am I kidding.  I should tell them now, even if it means not working in December.  After all, I'm retiring, not quitting, right?  lol.. right!

'til next time.